Feelings

Feeling disconnected from myself.
I feel betrayed by body as it gains weight- how dare it.
My dh is driving me nuts. He thinks I can read his mind - how dare he.
But what am I feeling inside? Lost

MyTrak, part 2

Thanks to the comments from Rita at Fitblogger
and Karen at Waisting Time who confirmed my upset with the ridiculous first week daily caloric limit of 905 as the MyTrak device got used to me. Now it up to 1687, which seems high but I must be eating somewhere in that range of calories, if not more since the scale is not moving down, but up. Hmph.
On the positive side, I've moved from a cute bunny which represents moderately active to a dolphin representing active. I'm hitting green on most days, especially after changed my goal from wanting to lose 20 pounds by the end of August to 10 pounds. But who am I kidding, I only lost 14 pounds in all of last year. I think even the 10 is a far stretch.
So why don't I feel any 'better', why do I have a constant guilt nagging at me that I'm not doing enough excercise wise and why don't I feel that I can change that?
I'm wearing the MyTrak every day plus I'm still wearing my Omron pedometer. Something about seeing the number, the green ring just isn't enough. I guess it's like weighing myself everyday. Old habits die hard.