"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity" ~ Seneca

Monday, May 17, 2010

Struggling

The void is back. It's a pit in the center of my chest that sits there heavy as I breathe. Always making me aware of it's presence. I'm not sure where it's been hiding for the last little while. But recently it's come back, and I'm not sure why. How do I get rid of it? Make it go away? Again, I'm not sure.
The only thing I'm sure of is eating doesn't make it go away. I tried and was rewarded with a 3 lb gain on the scale.
Trying to get back on plan-which I hope will make the void retreat or dissapear alltogether. I think it preys on my uncertainty, my low esteem. It grows and feeds off these negative feelings, making me feel smaller (though in reality I get bigger in size)- how ironic.
Time to face up to this void and put it back in it's place.

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